"The curse of the Shaq-bino, that's what it is."

    -Shaquille O'Neal when asked about the current struggles of the 2005 Los Angeles Lakers



"Tell Yao Ming, ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh."

    -Shaquille O'Neal jokingly of rookie Rocket center Yao Ming



"I'm like toilet paper, toothpaste and certain amenities -- I'm proven to be good."

    -Shaquille O'Neal of his future durability in the NBA



"...my game will be like the Pythagorean Theorem, hard to figure out."

    -Shaquille O'Neal on other players learning his game



"This is my town. Happy birthday to me!"

    -Shaquille O'Neal before his birthday game in San Antonio



"...must mean I'm human after all."

    -Shaquille O'Neal on the stomach virus that kept him out for three games in 2005



"The thigh bone not connected to the free throw bone."

    -Shaquille O'Neal when asked about his great free throw performance in game 3 of the 2005 Eastern Conference Finals.